Adventure Time with Krieg the PSYCHO!
by AnarchyKrieg450
Summary: A Borderlands adventure with Krieg our lovable, murderous psycho friend who meets the beautiful Siren Maya who searches for her Siren origins...And it seems like Krieg has feelings for her too...who knows where this story will lead... Parts are taken from the youtube video " A Meat Bicycle Built For Two" and from my imagination
1. Psycho and Siren

He is the body; I am the mind…control comes to the point where it burns. Just the simple command of trying to curl a toe or point a finger is exhausting. He stirs in the back of our head slowly taking back control of this body. I fight back trying to have just one more minute of peace, but is shoved back by a violent force.

"**THIS IS MY SKIN SACK 'MISTA!" **

Grabbing a wooden board he slams it full force onto our head. To me the world spins a bit; he shakes it off, like nothing happened.

'Okay, mister, I get it, I get it…let's just go find something to eat…'

Not to my surprise we found ourselves munching on some spiderant eggs which is something I've gotten over since he'll shove anything down his throat to chew when or if he's hungry. After finishing our little lunch, he got restless and tried entertaining himself; first by putting a pot on top of his head and smacking it with a wooden spoon, then started screaming about no-one getting to see his meat bicycle.

'Alright big guy, let's go for a walk'

He responded back with a grunt and soon we were on our way…

"It's been a couple days since I landed on Pandora," Maya licked her lips to moisturize them

"So far I believe that Brother Sophis' only true words were about this planet…" She stopped in front of a seemly run-down bar, bringing the ECHO back to her lips "But I hope I'll be able to find something out about my siren background…hopefully."

Releasing the REC button and stashing the ECHO device back into her bag, she enters the bar. As she enters Maya's senses are assaulted by the smell of alcohol, smoke, and blood. Silently she approaches the bartender.

"Wut canna git cha'?" The bartender smoking a cigarette flicks out a small shot glass and is ready to pour a drink without giving me a glance before I interrupt him.

"Ummmm…." The bartender then looks up with surprise "I'll just have some water….sir…" his mouth goes slack, and the cig falls off his lips and onto the counter. "Sir" I repeat again "could I also get some information as well?" and slowly slide some 100 dollars towards him. He shakes himself out of his little trance

"Hu...w-w-wah?" he looks down at the money presented on the counter before composing himself.

"Uhm...miss?" he started "lemme gitcha' a drink first." Replacing the shot glass with a mug and quickly fills it with cool water. I drink down the clear liquid and place another 100 down on the counter. I look at the bartender; his eyes look at anything but my own. I try to speak to him again.

"Si-"he holds his hands up "please…..ma'am, call me Silas. An' let's not talk over 'ere" his eyes scan the room "Better in secret." He motions towards a door behind him; I assume it's his office. I nod and follow. Once inside the tiny room, he glances back then bolts the door with a series of locking mechanisms. He looks back at me and puts both of his hands in front of him. "Just bein' safe ma'am."

"Please call me Maya, Silas." I look around the room, a shotgun resting on a poor excuse of a table with some shells beside it. "But being safe for what?" I asked. Silas rubs his arm (nervous I bet)

"It's jus' dat nobody around 'ere 'as seen a Siren 'ere in a while..." His voice was shaky. But in my chest, hope about my origins was climbing.

"How long was this? And what happened to the Siren?" More questions were starting to form in my head. Silas scratches the back of his head

"Well…..tha Siren appeared mor' then umm…I think some five years ago." (Damn, 5 years ago…that's a while ago, but she could still be alive…) "And do you know where is she?" my mind played out so many scenarios about this Siren. Silas sighed and sat down on a stool when he looked up to me I could sense some sort of sadness being emitted from him.

"Yeah I know where she's at…" He pulled out a small bottle of whiskey "6 feet underground over in New Havn' " My hopes came falling down "Hyperion came over 'ere an' burned the place down to tha ground…" He took a swig from the bottle and sighed again.

"Anythin' else miss Maya?" his voice quiet. I nodded my head "Yeah, just one more thing." "Go ahead then" He repositioned himself on his stool. I took another breathe "Do you know anything about the Vault?" Silas stopped in mid swig.

"Aye" he said "lost lots o' friends o' mine goin' afta' th' Vault…" "Oh…I'm sor-"He interrupted me "Nah…I'm can't bring back wut is gone" another gulp of whiskey "But aside from 'em rumors I can't help ya…sorry…But you could check out Santuary…" He looked so broken and fragile. I pulled out a couple more 100 dollar bills and placed them on the table.

"No….no that was more than what I thought I'd get…Thank you." As I walked out of the room Silas held my hand for a moment.

"Be careful out there ma'am…" I raised my eyebrow "Why?" He looked around again "'Cause Hyperion put a bounty on ya…" again I asked why "'Cause of yer powers and the fact yur a Siren Hyperion thinks yur a threat…and th' bounty is pretty high…So…so, be careful ma'am…" I placed my hand over his "Thank you Silas…and it's Maya." And with that I left the bar.

**Hours later…..**

After a small run-in with a local bounty hunter, we slowly walked along a train track with him yelling more obscene words.

"**I'M READY FOR A DAMN SPINE TINGLER!" **_'Oh just shut up'_ I just wanted him to stop with the yelling.

"**SHE CAN TASTE THE BLOODY HATRED!" **_'Guess I take that as a no….god dammit'_

I could feel a slight vibration in the tracks _'Hey…I think we ought to get off the tracks…'_He didn't listen to me and continued yelling

"**WHERE IS THE RED LIQUID I DESIRE FROM MY FOES!"**

The vibrations were really strong now _'KRIEG JUST FUCKIN' LOOK BEHIND YOU!'_

Finally he turned around and barely had enough time to jump out of the way of the train, but not fast enough and we landed sprawled onto the ground. As Krieg looked up he swore he was seeing things. A blue haired girl stood at the station held some sort of weapon. She looked like some heavenly being of sorts

'_Is…is that a Maliwan smg? ...oh god…oh god she's a Siren…A warrior who could kill me with her brain…She's so beautiful.' _

"…**S-Siren?..." **It took his eyes a bit to focus on her. And his eye widened with either awe.

"…**Can I swallow its soul?"**

Maya stood a little shocked at the person wearing a strange mask which had a breathing apparatus and a patch covering one of its eyes, all the while wielding some sort of weapon which seemed to be a buzz-saw mixed with an axe. She squinted her eyes a lil' bit more, before realizing what she was staring at, "Is that a Psycho?"


	2. A Meeting of Destiny

Maya gripped the Maliwan smg a little tighter with the sudden appearance of this strange psycho. She was trying to decide if he was some sort of threat to be disposed of, or is he to just be ignored. In the back of her head a small alarm went off sensing danger in another direction. (Probably just skags) she thought, shrugging off the alarm.

'_Tell her!'_ I yelled in his head _'Tell her that she's more beautiful than a 1000 sunsets! Tell her that we need her help! Tell her to save you, care for you, and for the love of god…do NOT yell poop at the top of your lungs!' _I prayed that he would simply do those things…but sometimes…just sometimes…Shit happens. He changes his stance and yells at the limit of his voice yells…

"**I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAAIN!"**_ 'You…idiot, our one and probably only chance of being saved is gone'_

The Siren hopped down the stairs and began firing.

We managed to dodge all the electrically charged bullets and get some cover behind an eroding rock.

'_You know…' _ I said _'she's gonna kill us now…' _ some rock shards dug their way into our skin, _'and the last words that you said was "poop train"' _suddenly the bullets stopped coming. Cautiously he peeked out from their cover…

"Damn it!" Maya swore, the gun she just bought from the weapon vending machine began to jam. She stole a quick glance towards the "Poop train conductor" as she reloaded, surprised to see him to only see the tip of his head showing and that he wasn't charging in head first as they usually do… the quick flashing of lights from her gun told her it was loaded again. Maya smiled to herself; taking aim again she pulled the trigger.

"Psycho or not…you're going down!" she whispered to herself. And continued firing…

What the Siren didn't know is that as she fired at us she failed to notice the bandit clan of rats slowly crawling their way towards her. Armed with rusted knives, sharp rocks, and whatever scraps the rats managed to put together.

_'We need to warn her!' _The rats began to spread out behind her, ready to get the signal

_'Come'on Krieg! tell her to turn around!' _one of the rats begins to sneak closer towards the Siren with a jagged old knife.

**"Urrh...STRIP THE FLESH!" **_'Dammit! No stripping flesh, just say turn around!' _the rat was just a couple of feet away from the Siren...

**"SALT THE WOUND!" **_'No...no salting wounds now, save Siren, salt wounds later' _inside Krieg's head a war was being waged between the sane and insane.

_'If she dies now her blood will be on YOUR hands! Remember what we agreed on!' _with that I launched another attack, this time with the images of the Siren dying, choking on her own blood, and more images of her death. And with that He let go, I felt him loosen the control over the body.

_'Thank you, friend' _the rat was now directly behind the Siren arms raised ready to plunge the blade into her. _(No time to think! Just do!) _I grabbed the buzz-axe and yelled...

**"TURN AROUND PRETTY LADY!" **The buzz-axe flew straight and true digging itself deeper into the rat's skull. He managed to let out a small scream of agony which let the other me back into control.

Maya stood there dumbfounded by the sight of the rat bandit gurgling its blood and the enormous psycho that saved her. (Is...is this bandit...trying to save me?!...What!?) Maya's thoughts were going nuts trying to make some logical explaination.

Krieg rushed in laughing in joy at the sight of blood splattering around the area. A rat rushed at him only to be sliced in half by Krieg's weapon. Bathing in the blood gave him a new surge of energy. Rage. Rage and the lust for more pain and blood that could not be satitied by these mere rats. Two more rat fell dead both cleaved in two. What seemed to be the last rat, tried to patheticly resiest only to be grabbed by Krieg, and stared at him, eyes full of fear.

**"I'M GOING TO PUT MY PAIN IN YOUR SOUL!" **immediately the rat fainted. Krieg grunted in satisfaction, unknown to the last remaining rat in hiding who screamed in anger, knife drawn poised for Krieg's head. Krieg didn't turn around fast enough, all he saw was the knife and inside he swore and cursed that it was going to be a RAT that would end his life

_'Dammit! I don't even know her name!'_

Suddenly there was a flash of blueish purple. Krieg slowly opened his eyes slowly. To his astonishment, the rat hadn't stabbed his head, but was instead floating in a glowing auraic ball. He looks back to see the Siren's strange tattoo's glowing. I look back to the Rat, rev the buzz-axe, jump, and with a nice clean slice the rat's head tumbled off his body with a spray of blood and psychic smoke. Krieg looks back at the Siren, and underneath his gore splattered mask a smile slowly appears. A smile that isn't caused by the carnage he's caused but just simple bliss in some-what having a "friend" that lasted more that 15 minutes prior to meeting.

_'Alright, tell her thank you...And say that because of her, we could possibly act like normal people.'_ Again sometimes what he wants to say isn't what it is when it comes out.

**"I POWDERED MY COCKATIEL FOR THE RIBCAGE SLAUGHTER!" **His heart sunk as her expression was that of disgust towards his outlandish outburst. He wanted to finally have someone to be beside him and it all falls apart. All he could think of was how we would simply wander around the borderlands; to live alone with a voice in his head and permenantly insane. To me, my life seemed empty, worth nothing at all, and void of all or any sort of happiness...I wanted it to just end.

Maya stared at him and, in her head she pieced it all together.(Could he not be able to have any control in what he says?hmm...That's possible...But... What about when he call me pretty?...Or Beautiful?...)She blushed at that thought. Her eyes slowly strayed towards his well honed muscles and felt the blood rush up through-out her face. He didn't seem like the average psycho you'd find on Pandora and diecided to give him a chance along with a small but gorgeous smile.

Krieg saw the smile and with that his hope soared.


	3. The Beast Within

Maya noticed something change in the Psycho's eye, she couldn't tell if it was relief, excitement, or possibly hope? Well either way she'd made a new ally/friend. She turned her attention towards the soon-to-be-leaving train. Taking a step onto the train she saw the Psycho not following her lead. Confused by this she asked

"Aren't you coming?" The train blew its warning bell "Come on, I don't have that much time to stand around..." Even though I had said that, I wanted to simply grab his arm and pull him in with me. He kicked away some gore and dirt on the ground muttering to himself. "Hmmm?" I strained a little bit closer towards him, but couldn't tell what he was saying. "Wait could you say that again?" i said trying to figure out what he'd said. He lifted his head and gave me the most innocent look a sadistic psycho could give, then suddenly,

**"HNNNG...O-okay..." ** the first time i heard the Psycho speak so quietly...it surprised me

I held out my hand towards him, and with the final whistle blown he took my hand and followed me into a passenger-cart...

**Inside…**

Inside was a multitude of tough looking characters all seeming to have tensed up at the sudden appearance of a Psycho. A couple of them had slowly unsheathed their weapons; machetes, combat knives, and even a full double-edged blade. The voice inside Krieg's head managed to keep the rage from surfacing reminding him who he was with. Krieg's fingers found themselves gripping the handle of his Buzz-axe **(If they touch her…I'll rip them apart…) **He thought to his other self. This made him shake his head _'No…only if they HARM her, anyways…I bet she can handle herself' _As he spoke he noticed a man standing in front of our cabin door. He wasn't as tall as me, just short off a couple of inches but in his hand was a wicked looking blade. He smirked at the sight of the Siren and me.

"Got a password?" He stared at the Siren's chest. She rolled her eyes, and in a single swift movement moved behind him and punched several points on his back. He yelped in pain and fell to the ground.

"The fuck did you do to me bitch!" his fingers twitched, but nothing else happened "I can't get up!" He struggled for a bit, trying to move but could only move his eyes and lips. With panic he looked at the Siren with horror "Who…Wh-what are you?" his voice trembled with fear. She bent down and spoke "Name's Maya…And I'm a Siren…Bitch." And walks away into the cabin.

I follow behind Maya as the mercenary demands help. Now I was fully aware she could disable me in an instant…but then again after what I've got through… I shake off those feelings, and walk behind her….

The room was small but decent, with a couple Hyperion storage boxes scattered around. The Psycho hummed happily as he imbedded his buzz-axe into a crate. I noticed a name scratched into the buzz-head 'Krieg…hmmm sounds nice…' I sighed and flopped onto a couch and had my Maliwan smg digistruct onto the table. I took it apart and slowly began cleaning it. In an instant Krieg was beside me watching my every move, as if it were some important life lesson. After a good minute of cleaning, Krieg spoke.

"**Why does your meat sack glow?" ** His voice full of curiosity. It took me a moment to understand what he meant. "Oh, you mean my tattoos?" he nodded his head, he reminded me of a dog, in the manner of how he sat on the couch. I stretched my hand towards a bullet I dropped, and immediately, it was floating in a ball of cosmic power. Krieg's eye lit up and jumped up and down pointing at my arm.

"**YES! YES! LIKE THAT! IT'S A GLOWING MEAT SACK!" **Then he noticed that the tattoos wasn't only on my arm but spread down my left side. 'Shit…stupid combat design' Krieg was completely hypnotized by the fact that it wasn't just on my arm, but also on my exposed hip.

"**IT GLOWS! IT GLOWS…"** his voice seemed more distant as he said it. And with an unseen aggression he grabbed me…

I lost control of him completely. The other me suddenly overpowered me and threw me into the extreme dark confines of our brain. I could still see what he saw, but with horror as no sound came out to reason with him. All I could do was watch. I grabbed her and pinned her against the wall. She cries out, raises her hand to us her Siren powers in defence. For an instant I felt energy slowly form up around me, with a swift flick of my arm, she goes flying across the room. Rushing towards her I straddle myself on top of her and with one hand pins her glowing arm, and with the other covers her mouth. Her muffled screams sound distant, her eyes searching for a way out. I screamed, I wanted to die, wanted to stop him.

'_NO INNOCENTS!' _I screamed _'You FUCKING BASTARD!'_ and in response I was pushed even deeper, then darkness….

I couldn't use my power against him. He held my arm down against the floor. For the first time in a long time, I felt powerless and afraid. As I struggled to move, he shifted his hand from my mouth to my neck. The very moment he lifted the pressure from my mouth I screamed, I screamed, and screamed. And with that not a single person opened the door. Not one. Despair just hit me, and tears flew down my cheeks, followed by sobs. With another sudden change in his behavior, he changed just like that, bam, no more anger, no rage instead he lifted me to the small bunk bed in the corner of the room and cradled me. I wanted to push him away, shoot him, crush him with my powers, but that never happened instead he whispered into my ear.

"**Save me"**

…**..**

**Sorry i haven't submitted for a while since it's almost summer holidays, so woot! and also finals with all that stuff. I don't know about this chapter i'm probably gonna take it back and edit it some more and stuff but yea.**


End file.
